You just accepted the job offer. Or the grad school admission. Or maybe you just decided it was time for a fresh start somewhere new. Whatever brought you here, you're staring down a move to a city where you don't know anyone, and you need to find someone to split rent with.
Finding a roommate is hard enough when you have a local network. Finding one from hundreds of miles away, in a city you barely know, on a deadline? That's a different challenge entirely.
Here's how to do it without panicking, settling, or ending up in a bad situation.
Start Earlier Than You Think
Most people start looking for roommates a few weeks before their move date. That's too late. If you're relocating to a new city, begin your search six to eight weeks out.
You need extra time for logistics that locals don't face. You probably can't tour apartments in person (at least not at first). You're coordinating across time zones. You might not know which neighborhoods are realistic for your commute or budget.
Starting early gives you breathing room to research, have video calls with potential housemates, and avoid the desperation that comes with a fast-approaching move date and no plan.
If your timeline is tighter than six weeks, skip ahead to the soft landing section below. You have options.
Map the City Before You Search
When you don't know a city, every listing looks the same. A place in one neighborhood looks identical to a place across town, but the day-to-day experience of living there can be completely different.
Before you look at a single roommate listing:
Research neighborhoods by commute. Use Google Maps at rush hour (set the departure time for a weekday morning) to map realistic commute times from different areas to your workplace or campus. This alone eliminates half the city.
Check rent prices by area. Sites like Zillow, Apartments.com, and local Facebook groups give you a sense of what's typical in each neighborhood. If a listing seems unusually cheap for the area, ask why.
Read neighborhood guides from locals. Search for "[city name] neighborhood guide" and look for local blog posts, not national real estate sites. Locals know which streets feel different just a block apart.
Ask in local subreddits. Post something like: "Moving to [city] for work near [area]. Budget is $X for a room. Which neighborhoods should I look at?" You'll get honest, specific answers that no apartment listing site can match.
Where to Actually Find Roommates (Ranked by Effectiveness)
Not all roommate-finding channels work equally well when you're searching from out of town. Here's what performs best when you're remote.
1. Roommate-matching platforms
Apps and websites built specifically for roommate matching are your strongest starting point. They're designed for this exact situation: connecting people who don't already know each other.
CoHabby matches you based on lifestyle compatibility, not just budget and move-in date, which matters even more when you can't meet someone in person first. Other platforms like SpareRoom and Roomies also have active communities in major cities.
The advantage of purpose-built platforms: profiles are structured, expectations are clear, and everyone there is actively looking.
2. City-specific Facebook and Reddit groups
Almost every major city has dedicated housing groups on Facebook ("[City] Housing," "[City] Roommates & Sublets") and subreddits (r/[city]housing). These groups are free, active, and full of people in the same situation as you.
When posting in these groups, be specific. "Looking for a roommate" gets ignored. "27-year-old software engineer relocating from Austin, looking for a room under $1,200 in [neighborhood] by March 1st, clean and quiet, WFH three days a week" gets responses.
3. Your extended network (it's wider than you think)
You might not know anyone in your new city, but someone you know probably does. Post on your personal social media: "Moving to [city] in [month]. Anyone know someone looking for a roommate, or have any advice?"
Alumni networks, professional Slack groups, and internal work channels are also worth a message. The trust factor of a friend-of-a-friend recommendation is worth more than a hundred anonymous profiles.
4. Co-living spaces as a bridge
If you're moving to a major metro, co-living companies offer furnished rooms with built-in community. They're pricier than finding your own roommate situation, but they eliminate the risk of a bad match and give you a social foundation while you're getting settled.
Think of co-living as a launchpad, not necessarily a long-term plan (though some people love it enough to stay). Our comparison of co-living vs. traditional roommates breaks down the trade-offs.
5. Your employer or school
If you're relocating for work, ask HR if they have a relocation channel, housing board, or can connect you with other recent hires. Universities often have off-campus housing boards open to grad students and staff, not just undergrads.
How to Screen Roommates When You Can't Meet in Person
Meeting someone over video isn't the same as meeting them face-to-face, but you can still get a strong read on compatibility. Here's how to make remote screening work:
Do a video call, not just texting. Text conversations hide a lot. A 20-minute video call reveals energy levels, communication style, and whether you actually enjoy talking to this person. If they refuse to video chat, that's a yellow flag.
Ask the questions that matter. Beyond the basics (budget, move-in date, lease terms), dig into daily routines, cleanliness standards, guest habits, and how they handle disagreements. Our complete list of roommate questions covers the ones that actually predict compatibility.
Request a video tour. Ask your potential roommate (or the current tenant) to walk through the space on a live video call. Pay attention to what they don't show you. Ask to see the bathroom, kitchen, storage space, and natural light at different times of day.
Check references. This feels awkward, but it's completely reasonable when you can't meet in person. Ask if they'd share a reference from a previous roommate or landlord. Anyone who's been a good housemate will understand the request.
Trust your gut, even over video. If something feels off during a call, it's not because you're being paranoid. The same instincts that work in person work on screen. Watch for red flags like vague answers about finances, avoidance of specific questions, or pressure to commit quickly.
The Soft Landing Strategy
Here's the approach that experienced relocators swear by: don't try to find the perfect long-term roommate before you move. Instead, secure short-term housing first, then search locally once you arrive.
Why this works:
- You can tour apartments and meet people in person
- You learn the city's neighborhoods firsthand
- You eliminate the time pressure that leads to bad decisions
- You have a stable base while you search properly
Short-term options to consider:
- Furnished sublets (1-3 months): Check Furnished Finder, local Facebook groups, or Craigslist for short-term furnished rooms.
- Extended-stay accommodations: More expensive per month, but zero commitment and zero risk.
- Co-living with flexible leases: Many co-living spaces offer month-to-month terms designed for exactly this situation.
- Housesitting: Platforms like TrustedHousesitters connect travelers with homeowners. Not guaranteed availability, but when it works, you get free housing while you search.
The soft landing costs a bit more upfront but saves you from the much higher cost of a bad roommate match or a neighborhood you hate.
Safety First (Especially When You're New)
Being new to a city means you don't have the local knowledge that keeps you safe instinctively. Take extra precautions:
Meet in public first. A coffee shop, not their apartment. This one isn't negotiable.
Share details with someone you trust. Send a friend the name, phone number, and address of anyone you're meeting about housing. Update them afterward.
Research the address. Google Street View the neighborhood. Check local crime maps. Once you arrive, walk the area at different times of day (including after dark).
Verify their identity. Ask for their full name and look them up on LinkedIn or social media. Someone who is who they say they are will have a digital footprint that matches their story.
Never send money before seeing the space. Rental scams specifically target people who are relocating because they can't verify listings easily. If someone asks for first month's rent and a deposit before you've seen the place (even virtually), walk away.
Making It Feel Like Home
The roommate search in a new city isn't just about finding a place to sleep. It's about building the beginning of your life there. The person you live with often becomes your first local connection: the one who tells you which grocery store is worth the extra block, which coffee shop has good Wi-Fi, which park is actually nice to run in.
That's worth holding out for the right fit instead of taking the first available room.
A few things that help the transition:
Be honest about what you need. If you recharge alone, say so. If you want a roommate who's also up for exploring the city together, say that too. Pretending to be more social (or more independent) than you are leads to friction fast.
Set up the shared space together. Even small choices, like picking out a doormat or organizing the kitchen, make a new place feel like yours instead of just someone else's apartment you happen to sleep in.
Give it time. The first two weeks in a new city are disorienting no matter what. Don't evaluate the roommate situation until you've both settled into actual routines.
Your Relocation Roommate Checklist
Before you start:
- Research 3-5 target neighborhoods (commute, budget, vibe)
- Set your non-negotiable preferences (budget, pet policy, cleanliness, noise)
- Create profiles on 2-3 roommate platforms
- Post in city-specific Facebook and Reddit groups
- Message your extended network
During the search:
- Video call every serious candidate (no exceptions)
- Ask the right screening questions
- Request a video tour of the space
- Check at least one reference
- Watch for red flags
Before you commit:
- Read the full lease carefully
- Discuss a roommate agreement covering rent, chores, guests, and how you'll handle disagreements
- Confirm move-in date, security deposit, and first month logistics in writing
- Keep a backup plan (short-term housing) in case anything falls through